“A man on line one wants our address,” our secretary told me. “Line two wants to place an order. Which do you want?”

Her tone suggested this was a trick question.

“Why does line one want our address?” I asked.

“For his lawyer,” she said. “He wants to sue us.”

I took line one.

We had sold the caller a door six months ago. He installed it and painted it himself. Now the paint was peeling and, therefore, he wanted to sue us. I must have been missing something.

“Let me find your salesman and have him come take a look at it,” I offered.

“No, no, forget it,” he told me.

“Then let me call the manufacturer's representative and have them come out.”

“I just want your address!” he screamed.